Early morning cartography

Apart from wielding weird dreams, these daily doubts have been sabotaging my sleep! They take the devious form of tummy tumbles, throbbing heads or light bulbs that suddenly illuminate at two or three in the morning and don't turn off again until about six.

This morning, the first jolt of electricity reprimanded me over the poor little baby quail I had for dinner (I know, I deserve it!). The other unwelcome intrusion was my old friend anxiety who was playing with the light switch. I say friend; but I what I really mean is an annoying acquaintance who drops by completely unannounced, hogs the conversation and plays circus tricks with my dinner. As the tiny quail thighs walked the tight-rope—dressed in a haloumi leotard and a raspberry feather boa—he rudely informed me that I'm way out of my comfort zone.

What? Really? I asked. Oh yeah, he said. You're done for, no turning back now. Then he went on with a lot of guff about horizons, deep diving and creeks that had no paddles.

You get the picture.

So as I attempted to ignore him and get myself back to sleep this morning, I flicked on Donna Leon's Commissar Brunetti series. As you may have gathered, I'm a bit of a murder mystery fan and this one is super enticing as it's also set in Venice. The only trouble is that it is all in German without subtitles and unfortunately I don't sprechen sie Deutsch. Is it weird that I feel like I still know what's going on? You don't have to answer.

Anyway, the best thing about not having to follow the conversation is that you have time to notice all sorts of random things in the background, like Maps! Wunderbar!

Agatha loved a map and they feature in some of her books. I discovered quite a detailed map of Miss Marple's St Mary Mead ( just realised that Agatha is a fan of alliteration like me), including the names and locations of a number of villagers and in the Murder of Roger Akroid there are floor plans and room layouts. From Tolkein's Middle Earth to Stevensen's buccaneers in Treasure Island, cartography has played a big part in creating the story landscape.

So it occurred to me, perhaps a map could help me traverse the treaturous terrain beyond my comfort zone? Like a choose your own adventure story! Anxiety didn't agree. He said it was ridiculous idea and that I'd need galoshes, a pack full of weaponry and various climbing apparatus at the very least, so I might as well stay put where it's safer.

Even if it was colour coded and decorated with glitter? I asked. Yes, still ridiculous, he replied. And stop thinking that a beaded handbag and pink stilettos are going help either, as you won't get two feet away.

Oh well, I told him, lucky you're not invited then.